ABSENCE LOOKS LIKE SCIENCE

i apologize for the sag in posting over the last couple days.  between eyeball attacks (imagine four highly energized kittens with their razor claws out playing tag mixed with the beginning stages of cardiac arrest inside of your cornea) and recovering from rockstar, pizza & twizzlers (naughty steven)...i am in full recovery mode and back at 82% strength.  i feel like disco dancing...don't you?

when the eyeball attacks, run for your red-blazer life

after thinking about it...i want to create a central theme for tonight's blog posting, and then...just now, one milisecond after typing that line you see above...i don't know if i can do it.  my mind is a bit scattered.

i did want to thank anyone who has consumed their very real life minutes by clicking on this log of B and seeing what i have to think/say/gargle on about...that's delightful of you.  i want to kiss your face and call you with the title of a relative...but i can't.  maybe on skype we could set something up.  i like you.  anyway, almost half a thousand views in one week...that makes me kinda happy, and confused...and sparkly feeling.  good thing i got the plastic sheets for my bed.  they make the neatest sounds when i'm tossing, turning and writhing thru the night with my very unspecial eye ambushery.

watching Man on Fire and pounding ibuprofen as we speak...or are we speaking?  we are not speaking.  as i type...i should have said.  i might be getting ahead of myself by staring at this screen for such lengthy amounts of time, but i'm a big tough french guy and i'm custom-built to overcome such life hurdles.  make your jokes...or if your last name is Ruelas, make your yokes...hehe.  also i am not physically pounding the ibuprofen because that would either A: make a mess or B: look like i'm setting myself up a sweet line of coke, which i'm not.  it is monday night people.

this post should be about 3 things.  love, spooning and computer backgrounds.  i am sorry if none of these intrigue you.  if they don't...you are bad at everything.

topics in old school st. charles elementary outline style...#redwings #gangsterstatus

a.  love.

love is funny and strange.  it is complicated and simple...it will sweep you off your feet and bodyslam you teeth down onto the pavement.  but love is wonderful because it is the only thing that can destroy you time and time again, but keep you coming back.

i'm discussing this because my love life is somewhat public at times...i don't mind putting my feelings/emotions out there for criticism, comedy or dissection.  i like to learn from other people's tales and they ...i think maybe, like to take something from my failures?  it's good to fail...that's how we learn from each other...so just think, everytime you fail at love, smile huge in knowing that you provided your friends/fam or some hairy-chested stranger with an example of WHAT NOT TO DO.  good on you!  we all have to learn from somewhere/someone.  might as well be you.  :)  that is turning a sad face into one that is only kinda sad.  maybe this one. >>>  :/

love though...love.  just when you think you have it figured out, it chews you up like a Charleston Chew (that's been sitting on the candy shelf for 4 &1/2 years, constantly getting passed over by every other superior sugary product) and projectile vomits you across the convenience store only to be mopped up by some foreigner with some wild accent whose name only 3 people can pronounce right.  not that there's anything wrong with any of that.  alas, in the past couple of months, i have learned a few things about love.  they sound like rules.  if you don't memorize them, i'm telling the adolf hitler look alike who works at my gym.

1.  do NOT underestimate laughter in love.  you have to laugh, and you have to be with someone who can make you laugh.  i for one find that if i'm making myself laugh more than the other person is...then that's no bueno mi amigo.
2.  do NOT underestimate quirks.  i love quirks.  i say this to a lot of people and most of my closests (like the new word there?) know this about me.  i might not be the quirkiest or most interesting guy on the planet (i should at least be in your top 150 or so)...but i definitely crave that in others.  generally, everyone close to me sticks out a bit in any crowd because they have that awkward, but entertaining and beautiful side about them.  if the person you love doesn't amuse you, how could they possibly be your muse?  get it??  ahh!  genius!  someone tell ken jennings!
3.  do NOT expect to change.  i always think i'm going to be this different person, but i'm not.  i mean, we all change gradually in time...but we don't change much.  we make concessions and excuses for why this is okay, or why that is no big deal because we can "adjust" or "adapt", but really...don't expect yourself to change.  i am guilty of this one all the time.  in friendship, family...in love stuff.  we all evolve, but we don't change much.  remember that cavemen...and cavewomen
4.  love is still the only war worth fighting for.


b.  spooning 2.0  

this is obviously the updated version because i put a "2.0" after it.  that being said, i want to say that it's okay to be a manly man and like to be the little spoon once in a good while.  i think it's precious.  call me what you want...but on a scale of manliness (i JUST finished taking the online test) i actually graded out at a 98.7% manly on the 1-100 scale.  i guess it docked me a few points (unfair, racist, sexist) for the 400 Notebook viewings and the fancy underwear, but you know what...some neanderthal named DROG probably wrote it right after he finished dragging his sweet lady across the hilltop while hunting triceratops with his barehands.  that's like, a guaranteed 100%...so who am i to judge.

what i was saying though.  switch it up once in a while.  it's sweet i think.  if you're the kind of man that feels insecure with this one, i say let her have the skirt back and don't be afraid to show your soft side here and there.  most gals will probably appreciate it and find it endearing.  if they don't, there's always divorce...haha...so jk.


c.  computer backgrounds


speaking of manliness, nothing screams testosterone like having african safari beast legends eating each other on your computer's background.  if you need a switchup from Ryan & Rachel france kissing in the rain...or that one small island in the middle of the turqoise water scene with that one distinguished palm tree (you know which one i'm talking about) that has been a computer staple for the last 47 years...then i have a few sahara-frosted treasures here for you to choose from.  do it.  i want you to.  mmm...

mixed company dinner banquet

carry out for one

the #2, "Carnivore's Delight"

now that you're all disgusted or carefully choosing (i hope this one!)...i must wish you all adieu for the evening.  i'm a wee bit exhausted, tired & fatigued...and a shade bit worn out, a tad drained.

some going away thoughts i don't have time to fully discuss:
*if you like scores, Braveheart will take your breath away.
*if you want to start a new gangster jive language with me, let's be in talks soon
*if you want more news about my grandma, you have to ask, she's high demand
*another one of my poems hit the 1,000 read mark, very rad brad, it's up there ^^^
*call me unfair, but to me the loofah will always be gay when a man uses it, even if i do
*turkey bacon is always the better option
*the army can and will make you think like a caveman if you let it
*what does anyone want me to write about?  i have thoughts and strong opinions on everything i think
*if you plan to buy her roses, slap yourself, get something unique
*satan still works part-time at wal-mart, applebees, subway and verizon (future blog right here)


amen, goodnight, i love all of you and your honeysuckled faces.

xx