THE BEST OF FRANCIS. VOL.1

i'm not so sure many of you know, but i'm very sure that i have the two coolest grandparents on the planet. i don't care what you say.  if they wanted to become pro surfers or post-hardcore rockers tomorrow, they could.  they simply choose not to.  

the PERFECT LOOKING COUPLE w/ walt & i.

instead, my grandpa (FRANCIS) is an all-star at the factory fixing everything from radiators to co-workers' destroyed married lives and my gramma (NANCY) is busy slaving at mcdonald's selling the mcfoods and telling perfect strangers how fat they are (because she can get away with it) and that they don't need it.  it sounds mean, but she really does have a deep interest in nutrition and healthy weight loss.  either way...


seriously though, my g-rents are rad to the bone and i wish you could meet them.  they would like to meet you too.  they are both level 70 huggers (it only goes to 71) and grandma will sometimes forget to let go after 5 or 10 minutes which is interesting and sometimes kind of awkward.


recently (Oct. last year), my very tiny cousin walt (Paul Walter Crumrine the 3) and i found out that gma and gpa got themselves a pair of new computers for each other and are getting internet savvy to try to keep up with the rest of our family which is spread all over the country.  we indeed have a huge fam and frank & nance really do want to keep in touch with everyone the best they can.  so, after some brief web cruising lessons from my mom (the Donna), they both caught on...even though it took the Chief (gramma's nickname) a little longer than it would most (3 weeks just to click Internet Explorer...give or take).  


either way, walt and i saw that as a prize opportunity to have some fun.  he and i have a way of getting those two sassed up more than anyone else in the family so we boiled a brew.  we are not witches though.  so don't cross that line fancypants.  

gpa in a gangsta lean w/pwc3
probably talking driveby tactics.

as the g-rents became more cozy with the www, we took it upon ourselves to introduce them to facebook.  grandpa was reluctant because he is kinda weird about online affairs (not like love affairs weirdo...but like financial info & what not) and grandma i think had no idea what was going on during the entire tutorial.  and she still is kinda out there to be truthful.  lovely little space cadet she is.  :)


all of this intro to tell you that grandpa knows we (walt &i) are watching his account closely so we're pretty sure he's cranking up the comedy a notch.  but who cares!?!?  the guy is hilarious and he knows how to get us laughing like champs.  after not using his account at all the first couple of weeks, he has warmed to "the facebook" as he calls it and now enjoys playing around and being a bit of a ham sandwich.  you will also see that he has a playful obsession with enrique iglesias...i'm guessing because he's the only post 50's musician he knows?  not real sure, but he mentions him a lot, which i love.  


ta-da!


to honor grandpa...not only for his stunning good looks (recently rated a perfect 10 by Cosmopolitan magazine), but also for his child-like and outrageous sense of humor, i am posting some of his best Status Updates yet.  he isn't on all that much, but if you see Francis looming, nudge him and see what you get back.  the man is on another level for his age, and that's why we love him.  


you will perhaps see where i get some of my humor from.  or you definitely will.  and it's not just me.  it's my entire family.  except my sister sam, she has no personality.  love you sis!


here i leave you, "THE BEST OF FRANCIS", thus far, 2011.  mind you, the man is 78.


(my apologies for any misspellings or hideous ALLCAPS typing, he's kinda new to the keyboard and online etiquette...and wait til you see Gma's...even worse.)




1) "THANKSGIVING AFTER PARTY STARTS AT 2 AM!!! SCRABBLE, EUCHRE, SPOONS, AND CALL OF DUTY ALL NIGHT LONG. BRING YOUR OWN ROCKSTARS!!!! I GOT THE MICHAEL JACKSON RECORDS!!! NANCY WILL BE OUT SHOPPING SO THE AIR CONDITIONER WILL BE ON BLAST!!"


2)  "Breaking out the tap shoes. Michael Jackson meets Fred Astaire and Shirly Temple. Christmas Eve with my kids and grandkids will never see it coming. THRILLER MEETS WHITE CHRISTMAS!!! Nance get out the face paint!"


3)  "I wish I could sound like Enrique. Only thing better would be Sinatra."


4)  "Grandson you didn't know? I invented the first primitive iPad in 1976 in dedication to our Nation's Bicentenial year."


5)  "Actually my grandson Stephen is single! And he will be back in Ohio the 16th - 31st. You should visit him and hold hands and get married. Other than that my friend Floyd Henderson is single but he is 79 and is confined to a wheel chair and only speaks in mumble."


6)  "Can't wait for Nancy to dress up like an elf and hand out berries and ginger ale to the grandchildren on Christmas Eve! And don't forget the all night disco bingo game!"


7)  "Yes because under the elf costume Nancy has her 1983 Soviet Union Olympic Ski Team Suit! Go Commies!"


8)  "I wish the Enrique Iglasius had been born pre-WWII so that he could have sang for Nancy and I's first dance at our wedding!!!"


9)  "SOMEONE PLEASE... Get me the new Enrique Iglesias Sweat in a Bottle cologne!!! NANCY LOVES IT!!!"


10)  "HOLY HAT!!! Nancy accidentally used miracle grow on the fir tree last night and we woke up to Christmas tree that's 7 feet too tall for our ceiling! I guess I will be using my power tools this morning. Anyone got advice as to the best way to cut a 4" x 4" hole in the roof?"


11)  "Beavis and Butthead Do Christmas!!"


12)  "SORRY I HAVE NOT BEEN ON THE FACE BOOK FOR A COUPLE MONTHS! I JUST GOT BACK FROM A VACATION IN EGYPT. IT WAS GORGEOUS!!!"


13)  "Oh it is beautiful this time of year! And we didn't have to wait in any line to see the pyramids.
That's funny you mentioned Iran because Nancy was thinking about going to Iran so she can wear a burqa. Her pretty eyes just gleam when that's all I can see."

grandpa, you salted rascal!

14)  "VANNA WHITE HAS NOTHING ON NANCE MANGETTES!!!"


15)  "Kokomo Baby! Go Beach Boys! Nancy in a tankini!"


16)  "Sometimes I wish I were Pat and other days Bob, but today I wish I were Charlie Sheen."


17)  "I miss Keith Sweat, a fireplace, and Nancy in Aspen."




and that is all my friends.  remember, this guy is going on 79.  what a stud.  


if you want to add him on facebook, just let me or walt know and we'll give you a link to him.  just send him a message prior to friend requesting to let him know that you're a friend of Paul or Stevie's and you should be good.


hope you're not mad for this gpa!  we love ya you old stack of bricks!




xx-sk


(P.S. keep an eye out for the BEST OF NANCY.  hers are totally dif't, but equally hilarious in a whole, lost online kind of way.)

ABOUT FORGIVENESS.

before you 9's & 10's go clicking the x at the top corner (bird brains), hear me out for at least one line.

every single one of us has someone in our lives who we could forgive, or do a better job of hemming the torn seams with.  everyone, very much including myself.  and that's okay, but here's your golden egg opportunity to turn things around.

i must admit that this is the first time i've come out of the gates writing something personally for a friend.  she didn't ask for it, so i won't pin her for that, but i can feel it in my chest all the way in texas.  not only that,  but i know what it's like to be crushed and want nothing more than to just find the internal strength to forgive someone for what they've done. 

"The Tree of Forgiveness" by
Edward Coley Burne-Jones

it's probably a good thing i write something kind of substantial tonight because i think my funny brain shut off about 3 hours ago or so?  or maybe when i woke up?  i dunno, i forgot to log it in my nifty mood time clock 2000 and sometimes i just don't talk to that many people after work to even know what kind of mood i'm in...lol.  so, sorry for the lack of humor.  i'm lame.  BUT, tomorrow this pretty much guarantees some nonsense and/or aggressively jokester.

before you get to dribbling about in this message, maybe focus on someone you've been holding a grudge against, or you know...maybe just kind of giving the frozen shoulder blade.  and of course you can always pass the word.  personally, off the top of my head, i can only think of about 70 million people who could really take a forgiveness pill and move along.  so get a tall glass of water and prepare to push these meds down gently.

alas...and my apologies if this is scrambled, lacks direction or quality...i'm writing on a whim and going off the top of my melon.  also, to be fair, i'm going to try to steer my message away from my heavy faith directives because i hate to tune people out and anyone who wants the belief-based version can always cal me for a little extra personal butter.  this can be hard to do, but you'll see.  nom nom nom...


ABOUT FORGIVENESS.  - by me, because i'm the only one who really writes around here.


we can all say "life is too short not to forgive", but i think we can do better than that.

that's not so bad, but i think a lot of people take the whole "life is too short to (insert cliche' phrase)" in one ear and it quickly escorts itself out the other.  it never sticks.  so what will stick?  what can possibly be said to help people get over years of angst and distrust and heartbreak?  whatever the case.  how do you go from point Grudge to point Forgive and know that you're doing the right thing?  that's an excellent question.

i'm asking myself the same thing as i type and wander through my own mind and experiences.

i think the best way to start is to know that there is freedom in letting go.  the amount of focus and energy some people exhaust by hanging onto bitter and harsh emotions is incredible.  what a massive waste.  sometimes i imagine what we could accomplish if we took all of that negative vibe, translated it into positivity and added it to the good jones that's already in our bones.  i think we'd all surprise ourselves.

i should take a step back.  certainly some of us have much deeper-planted feelings here than others, but i'm trying to level the playing field as i go.  it's important to come heavy with it though because people don't like change to begin with.  so it's a double uphill battle really.  nobody likes change.  i read a great quote once passed along by a dear friend that said, "the only person who likes change is a wet baby".  classic.  a little off the path, but not too much.

so you first have to address the fact that a change is about to occur.  you're going to do something huge that you never thought you could do.  that's inspiring right?  you're not changing who you are entirely, but maybe it's better to look at it as, you're wishing farewell to your less pretty side.  your less attractive side. sour feelings and harbored funk is never attractive.  bonus point.

then you might to say to yourself, what is the point?  how can i let someone just "get away" with what they did?

it doesn't matter.  seriously.  that sounds like a really watered down and trivializing blanket statement, but it's true.  it doesn't matter.

it never actually matters how far someone crosses you.  in the long term, it is always in your heart, quality of life & soul's best interest to put uglyness in the past.  like i said before, of course this is much easier for some than others, but when you throw it all in the sky, at the end of the day, it all has the gravity to come back down.

if someone who has had their entire family intentionally murdered by a malicious person can find it in their heart to forgive...then so can you.

that stuff happens more than you'd think.  so there are no excuses.  and it's not fair to the other person or yoruself to just keel over and say you're not "strong enough".  i hate that.  you are.  you are if you want to be i say.  you are strong enough.  it's not always easy, and it doesn't always happen overnight, but we all have it inside of ourselves to put the past in the past.

i have a terrible memory, so when a quote sticks to me, it really has to be glowing.  i say that because one of my all-time favorites deals with forgiveness and goes like this.  "you can never get ahead trying to get even".  how true is that?  seriously though.  you can't.  you're doing yourself a huge diservice by clinging to that anger/frustration/resentment that you refuse to let go of.  that's extra baggage your life probably doesn't need.  no, it is.  you carry that with you you know?  that garbage you collect from every bitter note circumstance or relationship that didn't quite pan out the way you had imagined.  think of yourself as a snowball.  not a nice white one either.  you're a sickly gray looking one.  think about it though.  you're essentially snowballing in your own grudging muck.  you really do carry that with you.  i see it in people that i know and love all the time.  it gets to them.  it will get to you too.

so is it just as easy as saying, "okay, fine i'm over it"?  never.  never that.

i'm not going to try to fool you or myself with that fairytale.  but.  but, it isn't as hard as anyone makes it out to be.  i don't think.  why should it be?  it's up to you right?  you are the one making the conscious decision to let that negative thing stay with you and effect you.  or not.

i realize that we're not all emotional brickhouses, but you don't have to be to forgive.  mostly because you're crumbling your own foundation by hanging onto these energy-draining threads.  some of you are white-knuckled, fist-clinching hanging onto this stuff for dear life and why?  why?  there isn't a good answer.  you're stuck.  and you can't deny that.

yes, there is the whole, well i don't want to let this or that happen to me again.  i understand that and won't do battle with you there.  there's nothing wrong with learning from a mistake.  there's nothing wrong with stepping away from someone or something that has hurt you over and over again.  but there's a huge division between walking away with a wise heart and shoving back to create separation.  if you're shoving back, you're not creating separation.  because it's still in you.  you didn't let go of anything.  you're wasting energy again.  step away from that universe and move onto another.

it's okay for me to be personal here i think.  just a bit...so,

i am not perfect.  i am outrageously sorry if this is news to any of you...hahaha.  okay, for real.  i'm not and i definitely wasn't in my last relationship.  but neither was she.  we fought way too much.  we argued about stuff that didn't even make sense to argue about.  it even got creative.  sometimes i would stop and say, how in the world did we come to this hideous place?  we fought so much.  and on top of that, we did some very hurtful things to each other.  and i know for me, i did them with absolutely zero remorse.  that's how bad it got.  that's horrible.  i hate that i was in that place.  moving along though...

i forgive her.  i'm pretty sure she hasn't forgiven me to be truthful, but that's life.  i can only hope and pray she finds it in herself to let go of stuff that essentially does not matter at all anymore.  for her own good if nothing else.  we're in different stages of life now and i wish her the best.  holding onto those ugly nights and crushing words does me no good at this point.  nor her.  don't get me wrong...i can learn from them.  i have and i will continue to do so.  but, what good does it do me to keep that stuff inside?  it does nothing.  if you're one of those who refuse to let go...just do it.  it's like quitting a bad habit.  sometimes you just have to pull the trigger, break free from the rusty shackles and walk on.

you don't try to forgive, you do or you don't.

one thing i almost forgot.

when you cling to these negative emotions associated with whoever/whatever, technically you're letting them win over you.  what they did to you or said or whatever...is still effecting you.  and that's probably what they want.  and if it's not what they want, the linger is still there, and they're dominating your feelings.  you don't want that.  you don't.  that is such a weak thing...to let someone damage you and continue to let them do so - when it doesn't have to be anymore.  muscle up huh?  i dare you to see how amazing it feels to get past those treacherous people or moments.  it's worth every bit of effort one time (to move forward), than to let it wear on you day-by-day and keep stepping in place.  that's what you're doing.  you're treading in bitter water.  you're sitting still.  you're rotting in angst.  was that one too dark?

okay okay...

so the moral of the story is that you have a chance to grow and become free.

the most unforgiving people i know are generally the most sullen, pessimistic and nasty people to be around.  of course i forgive them, but i avoid them like the plague.  unless they need to chat of course!

that being said, you can see where all of this is going.  and hopefully you can see that forgiveness truly is the best option.  i don't care if it was murder, adultery, or someone taking your last red skittle.  it doesn't matter.  it just doesn't.  surely the most severe cases of harm could take a bit longer to stumble past, but it's worth the fight.  i promise.

you don't want to be the person who looks back on their life and says, "wow, i never got rid of that" or  "i lived with that my entire life".  it's not worth it.  it's not.

don't be defined by something bad that happened to you.  we're all victims at one point or another for God knows what reason.  so stop wasting your energy on him/her.  channel it into goodness and use it on him/her.   the next person who walks into your life and plays a big role deserves all of you.  not 98% of you...only to have the other 2% stuck on ex-Y or ex-Z.  now you're being unfair to everyone involved.  especially the person you're with now.  friend or whoever.  give them 100% of you when  you're with them.  that's fair.  and more attractive.

the ugliest people i know (not looks-based, shame) are the most bitter.  i will jump off a bridge onto jagged rocks to dodge some of the knifing conversations and monologues i sometimes hear.  don't be that ugly person.  just don't.

and we come to a halt.

it only makes sense to forgive.  just writing this makes it that much more transparent in my own mind and i felt like i was already fairly strong in the forgiveness dept., but we can all grow all the time.  forgiving is one of those trained life skills that you can never be too good at.  like kissing or cooking.

i hope this clears the air for some of you.  i know it's easier to let things stay the same than to make a big change, but this one is worth it.

if there's someone out there who you know still feels resentment from you, even if they're out of your life, maybe it's worth giving them a call or email just to let them know you want to let it all go.  don't say you're "willing to forgive" them because that implies guilt and you're kind of defeating your purpose.  just say you want to forgive them and move along.  you don't have to be sappy or fall in love all over or anything like that.  just let them know you're free of that ugly emotion and you want to make big strides forward.  they'll respect you for it and you'll feel the difference in your chest.  if they don't, they have their own big issues to deal with.

love is the center of it all really.  if you can forgive like a pro, it's likely that you know how to love like one too.  because you know how to give someone 100%, and that's the best.  i know i wouldn't settle for less.  neither should you.

forgive until it hurts.  forgive until the hurt heals.  and then get ready to do it again because it's an ongoing exercise.  the better you become at it, the lighter you'll feel.

it's good to let go.

there's a lot of beauty in forgiveness, but you have to want it.  and you have to mean it.

get back to your 100%.  do it for yourself, and don't wait forever.

today is best.  go strong.  only the brave.


xx-sk


(and i hope you feel this all the way into your bones).

gents, don't let screwing up be the only reason you buy
her flowers you silly wankas.  the florist is open all year.

24 ORIGINAL SWEETHEART NICKNAMES/INSULTS vol.2

after tens of thousands of requests and inquiries about the original, original 15 sweetheart nicknames i posted a few weeks back...i have decided to provide a fresh batch of eggs for you starving and gorgeous little chickens and hens out there.  i must say that i was a bit overwhelmed with the positive response, so i'm guessing that i'm not the only one who's a bit bored of "honey", "buttercup" (a classic horse's name anyway) and the like.

i always root for the bull,
especially when there are clowns involved.

yawn right?  maybe i'm being a bit of an extremist here, but when i get married, if my wife dare call me something that 10 million others across the planet call their significant other, i'm going to divorce her on the spot.  this will require me having "the ugly papers" on me at all times, but i will be ready to attack with john hancock and stamped envelope at any moment.

and it goes both ways lois lane.  i hope to slyly insert in my vows to her that if i ever call her "dear" or "sugar" that she can punch me in the face without hesitation or apology.  mind you, there is a 10 second window, but still.

i've realized, after consulting my highly-esteemed and sophisticated "name creation matrix"...(seriously, you should see this thing)...that many of these endearing nicknames come off as insulting in nature.  therefore, it's pretty imperative that i give everyone full permission to flip these and use them as insults...tho, your creative rationale must then be exceptionally good...or i'll hire my mother to chop your hands off at the base of your wrists for misuse.  and she'll do it!  you should have known her in '76.  (i hope she's not reading this)...

page 1 of the almighty 6 page name matrix

so i wanted to do 15 new ones...then got on a roll and decided to go for 24, that way...if you're really on fire, you can call your special someone/or most bitter rival a different name every hour for an entire day.  i love this idea.  it is a proven fact that God loves an overachiever.  24, *sigh*, this is going to take a while.

dang it.

ok, so if they don't come off as kind, or "sweetheart" enough for you...just insert in front of each entry, "my sweet little ____________ " and they will instantaneously come to life.  easy as pie.  you choose the flavor...lemon meringue, dutch apple, or sugar cream for you senior types who struggle to chew things.  :(

VOL.2 features just as many food references, but digs deep in origin/ethnicity and adds some geography and zoology.  just for you canadian mongoose types.  let us get on with the naming conventions.

*t.o.e. stands for term of endearment...(i'm not typing that out 5,000 times for anyone)


24 ORIGINAL SWEETHEART NICKNAMES NOBODY ELSE HAS VOL.2 (that can also be used as insults in the proper scenario VOL.1)

1.  mississippi stomach ache™ - comes off a bit sour, but this nickname is perfect if you're with someone who has gastro-intestinal issues and grew up in the dirty south (at least from ages 5-13).  of course no one wants to be associated with pain, but if you say it with a wink and some cherry flavored tums in your back pocket, you might just get away with it.

2.  optimist prime rib™ - this title is more than ideal for someone who always has something positive to say about their meat purchase when dining out at small-town restaurants.  name is not effective or permitted if eating at a chain (i.e. Applebee's), and works best after duty hours.

3.  flaxseed network™ - everyone knows one of these lovelys.  not the uniquest (a word?) of the bunch, but a flaxseed network™ is nothing more than a nutrition junkie who spends at least 2-3 hours a week shopping at their local Trader Joe's and loves carrying on heated debates with their personal trainer friends about gluten-free foods.

4.  cord hugger™ - more likely to be used for a woman than a man, a cord hugger is someone who suffers severe fits of "empty nest syndrome" once their first daughter moves out.  for some reason or another, it doesn't work the same for a son...but either way.  careful when you throw this badboy around though...the overly-sensitive hugger could react very negatively and may inflict heavy damage.

5.  shredded wheat kickstand™ - this t.o.e. is ideal for someone who excels at level 3 acrobatics but won't get out of bed unless there is plenty of whole wheat (or grain) cereal in the cupboards.  there really isn't a lot of science here.

6.  the horizontal dept.™ - even though this priceless nickname is not very nice, it is by all means my favorite.  i am not surprised by myself with that.  let me just say that there is a certain profession that is rather prolific in a little town called Las Vegas that encourages its laborers to work horizontally.  if you refer to your significant other as the horizontal dept.™, you'd better be wearing a suit of armor or inform him/her ahead of time that you're refering to the fact that he/she much enjoys driving with his/her car seat fully-reclined (which is challenging and should be revered).

7.  eastern european mistake™ - look, we all make them.  this is ideally used by someone who bought their bride (or hubby) via the www and regrets it every second of their life.  this t.o.e. is not very tender and doesn't take refunds but let's face it...a true mail order spouse doesn't speak'a'the'english too well, so it then becomes less harsh and for all they know, very affectionate and kind.

8.  the GE championship™ - this one can go either way.  a perfect fit for a stay at home wife who is exceptionally skilled at working the kitchen/household appliances and such.  some more independent and strong-jawed ladies may resent this one greatly, so proceed with caution.  the flipside is that there are some wonderful gals out there who take pride in their cooking, cleaning & laundry skills...and there's nothing wrong with that.  so, like many of the new names on the list...just know what kind of kitty you're dealing with before you step into the cage.  try not to get your face ripped off with this one.  quick caveat, can be used on a male, but it will absolutely not be taken well and could result in a dire outcome.

9.  polyester pirate™ - a polyester pirate is someone who is known either for stealing massive quantities of 70's flavored apparel from nearby thrift stores...OR, isn't afraid to sail the coast of somalia for weeks on end whilst wearing the same 3 piece suit throughout the entire voyage.  a true polyester pirate can be a difficult find, but they are a brave species...and they love hearing about it.

10.  snowpea attack train™ - this one is self-explanatory, so i'm not going to get into it.

11.  meatloaf holiday™ - this loving title is just right for someone who isn't afraid to get seconds and thirds of the beef when the seasons roll around.  it is an obvious added bonus if they like dumping boat loads of ketchup on all of their carniverous endeavors...even if that is absolutely disgusting to you.  and it is absolutely disgusting.

12.  eukanuba circus peanut™ - an ECP (that's what everyone that i know who uses this calls it), is essential for someone who has either been seen and treated for eating inordinate amounts of orange foam while at dog shows...or maybe just has a hard time not judging people who have worked on the trapeze bars.  it can be somewhat ambiguous due to its double-meaning, so just specify ahead of time.  one of the more playful and light-hearted names, so be sure to tackle and gobble about on your lover everytime you use it.

13.  Petra Cottontail™ - the only legitimate proper name in the bunch...Petra Cottontail is perfect for a gal (or guy...hmm) who loves rabbits, has a brother named Peter, adores children's stories and hails from southwest Russia.  unfortunately, there are way more of these than you think, so claim fast if you want to have the true original.

14.  manitoba haircut™ - i hated having to put this one up due to my inner-rivalry that i have harbored against canada for nearly a decade now...but, when perfection stares at you in the face, you do not look away.  that is soft.  this little slice of t.o.e. heaven is ideal for someone who lives near the northernmost border of the states, has had problems getting a good cut in the USA and has to cross the country line to "get it right".  a manitoba haircut™ does not care about gas price hikes and will most likely love their new title because they are probably (stasticial research shows a 96% chance) an elitist jerkface who thinks they're too good for homegrown looks.

15.  catastrophe parfait™ - this one is spot on for anyone who is simply a disaster in all ways at all times and likes to mix small bits of food in their yogurt.  it doesn't hurt if they were born during a major fire or something of the like.

16.  shang-hai pterodactyl™ - this mouth full of east asian namery is great for someone who has spent at least 5 years studying paleontology at the university of big china (UBC) and has devoted a good chunk of their life designing synthetic wings that will someday allow humans to fly to and from work without a very high likelihood of fatal crashing.

17.  alcatraz wet rascal™ - if you've ever dated or are dating someone who is an extremely playful, grade A (or B, with stipulations) swimmer and has tried to escape from their soul-sucking hometown (which feels like a prison) on multiple occasions...then this name is just for them.  an alcatraz wet rascal™ is persistent but rarely has the proper tools (or resume') to get away for good.  bonus points if they are from (or were conceived on) a small island off the coast of northern california.

18.  8-eyed wild orphan child™ - do i really need to explain this one?

19.  safari punch™ - this is excellent for someone who was born (or has close ties to their heritage) in southern africa (not just south africa) but is not exactly sure which countries all of their ancestors were from.  an authentic safari punch™ boasts roots in at least 5 unique nations and has been attacked at least twice by one or two of the following serengeti beasts: the lion, the hyena, the zebra, the angry red fox, the jaguar, the female rhino.

20.  skim milk uppercut™ - this t.o.e. is essential for the lover who enjoys placing bets on boxing and has extremely pale skin, so much so that you can begin to see their veinal patterns...even at a fairly young age.  this name should be used with severe caution as some do not like the fact that their epidermis is somewhat transparent (in comparison to 2% or whole).  if misused could certainly result in a fury of haymaker blows to the chin.

21.  turkey sandwich calculator™ - the exact same thing as a flaxseed network™except the turkey sandwich calculator™ counts their calories much more strictly and has no gluten preferences.

22.  snaggle-toothed muskrat™ - this is very mean, but ideal for someone who grew up unabashedly filthy near a highly-polluted body of water (i.e. lake erie) and never had the money for braces.  i find it hard to believe that someone could use this t.o.e. without stepping on some toes, but stranger things have happened and i have found in my research that many S-TM types take pride in their muddy heritage and find hygiene products "sensationally over-priced".  one of the few names that can be shortened as simply calling someone "muskrat" tends to yield big smiles and long, sometimes uncomfortable embraces.

23.  virginia black forest ham juggler™ - in the event that my mother is reading this, i shalln't expound much more than to say, if you know someone who takes 45 minute showers and you notice that there is absolutely, positively no movement going on in the water pattern or such...well then...1+1 ='s 2 right?  do the math, do the math.  especially easy to label and tag a VBFHJ if you have a shower or tub that creaks easily at rocking, dancing or walking around inside of it.

24.  the uh-oh rainbow suplex™ - perhaps the rarest of rare steaks, this title has been ferociously reserved for either grizzly men or butch females who insist on WWF-style wrestling only with other like types and have at one point in time gone a little too far and caused a life-ending or traumatic injury to an opponent because they got into the role a bit much, performed a level 10 body smashing move and couldn't find it in themselves to ease up on the competition.



***i wanted to show some photos of each name but wow...i'd have to take the whole week off.
***i also wanted to make each name masculine or feminine, but didn't want to discriminate and ruin their respective versatilities.

choose wisely and abuse the names...
goodnight,
all of my love.
xx-sk

some of what's coming.

THE LITTLE THINGS IN LOVE.

take love slow and pay attention to everything that happens around you. 

by doing this, you will notice and grow to adore the little things that many do not take time for. when taking things slow, you will be much less distracted and everything that takes place in your world too will occupy a space in your heart or mind. consider each little thing that is characteristic only to your girl, and then be thankful for it. our nation has never been busier and more rushed through life than it is right now. unfortunately, many of us do not even have the time to realize this fact and we then suffer the not yet known consequence of taking full-part in a marriage or relationship without actually taking everything we can from it. this is a problem of today’s extreme work ethic. there never seems enough time in the day. 

either the sun rises too fast or falls too soon, but certainly there is time if you let it be. 

every relationship consists of a few big things like love, communication and trust. though under a microscope, they are made up of millions of passion particle things that provide an inexplicable base for what gives us the impression as "most important". i insist it is not that easy. truthfully, it is the little things that add up to what is big. if we rush through the course and don't pay attention to detail, breathe and notice the idiosyncrasies and quirks, then we are settling for half of what we can have. 

to love another is to understand and appreciate them for all that they are. in a hurried lifestyle, it is without a doubt much more difficult to love as one might wish and for this i recur and suggest decelerating and absorbing the beauty and wonder in your presence as it is and always has been. begin to take notice of how she walks, the way she bites her lip during a scary movie or how her hair falls in her face. as time goes by, and you note such things more frequently, they, like a fine old shirt will grow on you because they are associated with someone you love or care about. surely a shirt and a woman are distant in contrast, but there comes into play a certain comfort and satisfied anticipation with both. 

after a while, you may catch yourself looking intently at your prized gal, expecting her to react or act a certain way and when she does, there swoops over you a strange and gratifying sensation of understanding. of honest love. of machine-like satisfaction. knowing your sweetheart is as important as knowing yourself when committed in a faithful and true relationship. 

the more you know about her, the more you can love about her. 
the more you know about her, the more you can love about her.
the more you know about her, the more you can love about her.
the more you know about her, the more you can love about her.
the more you know about her, the more you can love about her.
the more you know about her, the more you can love about her.
the more you know about her, the more you can love about her.

with time she will change and evolve as we all do and that being said, we can look forward to a never-ending fresh chain of reasons to love her. 

women are beautiful because they are unique. nothing is less exciting than average; so go find out what makes her unique and welcome each tiny aspect of her individuality knowing that she is indeed an original. if you choose not to point out her every individual eccentricity or habit she has, she may never realize that you know & like them. don't do that. don't ever not let her know that you notice. notice. notice. notice.

and when she knows that you find a particular unsolved amusement or enjoyment in her simply being her, you will make her feel good about herself from the inside out and if you're lucky...result in a euphoric sense of confidence on her behalf. you want her beaming. she will be more gorgeous than ever...confident. all these little things added up become the "something" about her that each happily married man understands clearly. 

there IS something about your lady. something about her that drew you in from the beginning and that something is going to grow forever in time for you to adore more each day. this is the glorious benefit from noticing the little things. so much reminiscent of almost every other facet related to true love, this theory of attention to detail and taking life slow is unselfish and giving in both directions. your reward has no price tag and might never seem tangible or concrete, but in life many of the best rewards go about in such a fashion. hers is very similar in nature. it might not be there to kiss her on the forehead or touch her neck, but it is a deeper reward than that and lasts much longer. 

so next time you fall asleep next to your girl, notice her breathing pattern and the way she tucks herself into the blankets. look at her feet, are they under the covers or do they stick out? where does she place her cheek on the pillow? does she like to be held close or have a fair amount of space? does she toss and turn? do her eyes twitch during dreams, does she hum or tuck the pillow between her knees, does she reach for you when she feels vulnerable, does she tangle her legs into yours? all of these things are who she is. all of them fine enough to love. and soon enough, you will find yourself wanting to stay up all night. these are the small things that love is all about. these are what make our chest clocks tick.

pay attention to this and paste it to your heart. think about her all day long, and how she has fallen for you. 

kiss her wildly. she is yours and only yours. she is your piece of art. she is your original piece. she is all of the things. she is the only one..........just like her.

romance is in the air everybody...

and now i finish up the next piece.  19 new original insults & sweetheart nicknames never before used.  better than the last batch.  their dual-purpose will amaze.  


sleep well wedding bells...
xx-SK

THE BOYCOTT

i am not posting another blog entry until every breathing soul on the face of the earth reads the 11 best hairstyles.

goodbye & goodnight.


xx-SK

THE 11 BEST HAIRSTYLES EVER.

as many of you know, before the army i was obsessed with my hair.  not in a creepy, craigslist, fetish kind of way.  just in a way that i paid more attention to it than most guys...and girls.  and there's nothing wrong with that because i said so.  i make the rules here soft skin.  this is no barrel of monkeys afterall.

great hair sample A.

that being said, i should preface this socially imperative blog by saying that just because i declare a hairstyle one of the best EVER, does not mean that i would ever have it.  in fact, it's much the opposite.  i celebrate the brave and ugly though.  unlike some, i have learned to appreciate and embrace that which by most is disgusting and culturally unacceptable in the world of salon cuttery.  

we all know that when i get out i want huge hair and that is simple math algebra queens.  sometimes, size does matter.  what might appear a lifesize bobblehead from a distance, to me is a lifesize masterpiece.  i'm providing you a choice example here right.  of someone other than myself, because let's face it...a blog full of me photos would most likely sink the battleship for good...and i like my pacific perusers.

what i'll do then is count them down by preference.  for the traditional effect of added suspense, to raise blood pressure and plastic seat cover sales...i'll go least fave to fave fave.  this one has been stewing in my head kettle for a good 45 minutes, so let's see what delicious little stew i've built for you.

remember please please...that a lot of the things i like/love in life are due to their ridiculous nature.  not because i would subject myself to them.  but my affinities are genuine...so play along gently and understand my logic.  or else the leather chair in august treatment...again.

if you think you're some kind of pro-status strawberry pie filling all-star...make this into a mini challenge and see how many of the 11 you can guess before scrolling down.  i project a high of four, though my gut is saying "i'd like a turkey sandwich"...so it's a tough call really.

you will see that some of them have their standard given names and a few i've re-titled for dramatic and necessary embellishment.

(if you want a painfully rad tune to thrash to while you read this mania, i highly suggest "Push It To The Limit" by Paul Engemann...it will certainly add 6-7 points [depending on what month you were born in of course)] to the gnarley reading ambience)

and this is your guessing space...

this too is your guessing space...

a little more in the event you're actually doing it...

and here is a picture of outerspace to keep the space going...

and finally the balls of space...a true classic...

now let your goldilocks down and let the list begin.


THE 11 BEST HAIRSTYLES EVER (2011 EDITION)

11.  "the beta lean"™- this is at the tail end of my list because it puts me to sleep , tho it deserves recognition for its overwhelming sweep and borderline brainwash job of half of the frat boys across the nation.  not a total knock, but if i had 2 nickels for every time i saw some fratly male in khaki pants, a blue button down, brown skecher boots & THIS hairstyle, i'd build myself a small palace in guam.  the thing is, i haven't done a lot of research on property pricing in guam, but i imagine i could snag a pretty slick 2BR 2BATH ranch if nothing else.  this hairstyle screams to me, i have no personality and i don't like to think much.  it also says i am sad, drowning and stuck in 2003 please rescue me.  i still see a lot of 38 year old uncles sporting this look when i walk through jc pennys.   yahtzee!  just push it all down and do a tiny flip at the front.  the better you can see the comb streaks, the more authentic.

breakthrough year: circa 1999.

10.  "the blowout" - sure this is all over jersey shore, blah blah.  well i liked it first...i just one-upped everyone.  truth be told, i became fond of this nasty accident a few years back when the gotti kids had a show, and i said to myself...wow...that takes a lot of cajones...and aqua net, and a really high quality hair dryer.  the blowout has been around for awhile, but it's not to be tossed aside for lack of unacceptableness.  it is unacceptable, but kind of amazing at the same time.  anytime you can walk out of the house knowing you look a tanning booth mated with a porcupine with your head held high you're alright in my books.  blowout boy, you're a brave one.  you don't look like a respectable man, but the nasty girls don't care and i like your bravado.  there is a high blowout spotting not only in new joisey my friends... hit the sweaty sun-kissed beaches of miami.  they've got the fever too.  catch it...

breakthrough year: circa 2010.

9.  "the one-length"™ - i know a lot of people refer to this lazy look as a one-length, but i'm putting it in writing and i want one of those huge checks for trademarking.  i want that check to be so big that i can't even get it in my car to get to the bank, and when i finally do, i want to jam up the little teller vaccuum suction thing with it.  there's not a lot i can say about the one-length™ other than the fact that whoever has one of these, has publicly admitted to absolute lazyness...and that's alright by me.  this haircut takes approximately 45 seconds to get/give and goes great with a pair of heather grey hanes sweats with elastic at the ankles.  perhaps the sweetest perk of the one-length™ is that the longer you let it grow out, the louder your do is saying "eff you" to caring.  a great place to find an abundance of premier one-lengths™is at a large catholic church where families often have 5-8 boys and don't have the finance or time to care about their kids' hair.  i love it.

breakthrough year: circa i have no clue.  it's probably been around since Jesus time for all i know.

8.  "the east asian q-tip"™- i might take a hit here for coming off a wee bit culturally offensive, but i hold a very special, japan-shaped place in my heart for the east asian q-tip™.  and i don't care what you say, i love asians.  my mom is 90% asian so whatever.  the righteous thing about the EAQT™ (acronym'ing to save wear and tear on the digits) is that it is pretty much a larger-scale version of the one-length™, only grown on asian people's heads.  let's not lie to ourselves.  we've all seen a plethora of these delights here and there.   you see a little 120lb. body crowned by a head that appears the size of a medicine ball and you know you love it.  the guise is that the head is of normal size, but the EAQT™ duped you good.  it's name i think is for obvious reasons...so we won't get into that.  a phenomenal place to find these in the states is southern california or any language facility on a college campus (i.e. Gordy Hall at Ohio University where i would spot upwards of 30 a day!).

breakthrough year: circa i have no clue again.  right up there with the one-length™, for all i know korean dinosaurs were rocking this do.

SERIOUSLY THOUGH.

7.  "the circumcision"™ - i know i'll take heat for this one, but i promise it's the last one that sounds perhaps a bit inappropriate.  the thing is, could there really be a better name for it considering it's shape???  the circumcision™ breaks into the charts as the first female look and makes no apologies.  i have to admit i am absolutely mind blown by this one.  most haircuts that seem a bit off, or sit high on my charts bring a massive smile to my face and perhaps a baby tingle to my pancreas.  the circumcision™ though simply has me baffled to the limits.  i don't try to, but when i see one, i know i make this crinkled up squinty face like..."wait, whaaaaa?".  as much as i'd love to ask, "hey who told you your hair would look dashing when shaped like a penis", i can't because i'd be sad if it vanished from the scene and i never saw another.  it's not easy to track down one of these blitzkrieg boppers, but if you stop by an "edgy" salon in a small to middle-sized town somewhere in the midwest, you might get lucky.  these are cellphone-picture-worthy if you can get away with it while waiting in line.

breakthrough year: circa 1995.

mel sporting a roughly-tethered william wallace™.

6.  "the william wallace"™ - i am fully aware that william wallace is a legendary scotsman, but i am also aware that no one has ever gone over to their friends house, wasted by 8 o'clock on a saturday night and asked for a legitimate "william wallace".  the william wallace™ might come off a bit of a mystery to you non-braveheart buffs but really it's just a huge mess of hair (usually well past the shoulders), that is on a level of 10 ratty and at times will feature a small braid or two.  maybe one of the huge perks of the WW™ is that it requires just as little maintenance as the one-length™ and the EAQT™, but has all the glory of a full-mane.  i could see losing a lot of small, important things in these knotty locks, but i think it'd be worth it.  pulling off a true william wallace™ takes a real man and a chest full of rugged, war-torn hair.  if you see a certified william wallace™ anywhere in today's society, shake the man's hand but be sure not to stare because he probably has a 4ft. sword in his kilt and won't hesitate to dislimb you on the spot for excessive ogling.

breakthrough year: circa 1575.

one (or both of your parents) hate
you, but i sure don't.

5.  "the just in case"™ - formerly known as the bowl-cut, the just in case™ has roots buried deep in the late eighties and has no plans to go away anytime soon.  a classic, perfectly-rounded just in case™ can be extremely hard to track down...much like bigfoot, but clearly more "with-it".  it has earned it's new name because the last time i had one (28 yrs old), i thought...if i die today, and they need to size me for a halo and expedite my shipment to heaven, this great-looking and functional haircut will be terrific "just in case".  so there is the logic behind that.  i'm actually rather eager to marry and procreate in hopes to have a son, name him "Justin Case Kenworthy" and give him the most flawlessly bowled brain ever.  imagine his popularity at just age 8.  off the charts.

breakthrough year: circa 1989.

i may never understand.  :(

4.  "the - the bird has left the nest"™- i hate to have to give this one such a lengthy title, but it truly satisfies the gutsy appeal of this "style". TBHLTN™ much like the circumcision™ has caught me off guard and stunned my analytical skills.  if you don't know what particular look i'm discussing here, imagine a lady (in her mid-thirties, paler than traditional) who carefully parted and then smushed the front of her hair down to one side, and then took a blow dryer, pointed it 90 degrees toward the ceiling and made a perfect little prickly patch of spikes on the back of her head.  a veteran TBHLTN™ wearer will have a near perfect semi-circle in the back with a very clean and defined division of the front (the school teacher) and the back (the punk rocker).  this hairdo is perfect for an over-burdened mother stuck in a midlife crisis with 18 kids and little time for preparation in the morning.  it's worth noting that no other look on our countdown demands such a serious amount of mousse.  TBHLTN™ is prevalent in today's culture and makes frequent appearances anywhere there is a rally's, a heavily-populated county fair or a local bowling alley.

breakthrough year: circa 2002 & going strong.

photo not ft. black comb.

3.  "the rick springfield" - i wish i could take credit for this name because i do adore it, but i can't.  the rick springfield is a delicately center-parted, mid-length man's hairstyle with the feathering touch of a baby eagle.  there's not a lot more to say about the rick springfield other than the fact that it never leaves home without a good, plain black comb.  notice i said comb, not a brush.  the plain black comb is the rick springfield's best friend besides its bee-gees album collection and denim jumpsuit.  this throwback look can be challenging to find anywhere in today's states, but it's worth paying the $6 to get into the REO Speedwagon & .38 Special concert to feast your eyes on a few.

breakthrough year: circa 1974.

look at that thing!

2.  "the flat-top" - i so badly wanted to re-name this one, but didn't have the heart in me to pull it off.  to re-name the flat-top would be like asking the white house to paint itself lavender, or to change the national bird to a muskrat (which doesn't even make sense) and i just can't do that.  you don't mess with a great american icon like that.  the flat-top is as epic as a trans-am with an obnoxiously loud exhaust and as much as it stings, you just have to appreciate that.  i want to go on and on about how much i love the thought of someone thinking it's okay to make a literal shelf out of their head, but i can't.  i feel like if i disrespect the flat-top, it will haunt me in my next life as some sort of militaristic cyborg.  so i'm going to leave it alone now.  but i do love it so much.  a great place to find this legacy do is right here in ft. hood...or any military town for that matter.  they're not as prevalent as they once were (shame), but the older GI's still dig the FT.

breakthrough year: circa vietnam war.

she'd rather be slaying dragons.

1.  "the pageboy" - i am speechless at the sheer presence that this hairstyle demands.  i feel as if i should not be allowed to type out its name, but it's my duty to deliver the goods...so here we are at number one.  the pageboy is great because it keeps the neck warm, keeps the hair out of the eyes and goes great with chain mail.  the pageboy has an extra extra special spot in my chest because it's virtually impossible to find unless you have friends who are stuck in the knight era and live in a castle.  the paige boy is to many considered unfortunately hideous, but i stick up for its noble flavor.  this is not for everyone.  i do not recommend everyone try this at home and i haven't seen one in person for years that i can re-call.  i love the pageboy.  it's as rare as a pink diamond but boasts the testosterone of a real-life dragon slayer.  if you go to the barber shop with a full-head of hair and ask for a paige boy, they'll likely spare you the charge and send you away with a golden chalice and scrolls that reveal the tomb of king arthur himself.  respect the pageboy or get jousted to death in your worst nightmares.




and that is all.
share with everyone you know.
the blogger is tired and needs a rest.
now go get one of these epic looks and show it to the world i dare you.


xx-sk

INVENTING GOD & FAITH IS EVERYTHING.

for all of you jaundiced sad faces and touchdown dancers out there who want more than what seems to be in your life at the given moment. that's a weird way to start it. though i bet a good handful of you were jaundiced babies. not that that matters...i like the color yellow...either way...

i wanted to write something original and fresh tonight like mint scope, something that sparked a tingle in your guts, but i checked and my brainwaves have gone back out to sea for the day. the tide indeed is low. anyhow, here is a saucy essay i wrote when i met an awesome old friend. we don't talk much anymore, but when we met, i felt compelled to write this faith-based piece that i think a lot of people can relate to. i am not perfect (ask my ex...ha) and i never will be, but when i get my chest together, i can feel pretty clearly. this was one of those crystal ball moments that i think any good gypsy (a veteran pro) could digest. some of it comes off a tad bitter i discovered, but that's the bone breaks. dig in. i doubt anyone will comment because of the delicate contents, but hey...it's worth sharing i think. Jesus is actually pretty rad. I bet He was nasty on rollerblades too.

he can make turn water to wine and break bricks.
JC's Kung-Fu Dojo.

 "Inventing God; Faith is Everything."

being a Christian is like taking the world's deepest breath every single day and knowing that no matter what happens, everything will be okay. life will be better. life is so short...life has two forms? life has two forms. your life here on earth & your eternal life. you have to live for both. that is not easy.

i have a new friend. she is incredibly special. those closest to me know who she is. she will read this and smile so pretty (i hope...anyway).

when i met her i saw a glimmer in her. a twinkle of sorts. there was something inside of her that glued me to her heart...and so i wanted more of her. i wanted her in a way that most people forget to want. it was innocent & honest. i was so intrigued by her.

there was a free side to her...full to the brim with laughing, way too many odd questions & a thousand genuine facial expressions that just made you want to steal her away to nicaragua. unique & different. there was a real connection. romantic, maybe not? maybe? ...but a connection nonetheless. i missed her the night that i met her. that felt nice.

i later on found out that she rarely finds herself to be that happy. she is generally sad and struggling to find creative, fun outlets besides getting wasted every thursday/friday/saturday night like every other person who has nothing better to do. like every other person who follows. like every other person masking their true originality with beer stats and drunken stories. lame. i am always so sad for these people. soft, soft people.

so i told her, it is going to be hard, but "you are a leader...you're different". she said she'd never thought of herself that way. funny...

conversation developed and all of a sudden...like we've all heard before, something seems to be missing. she wants joy. so do i...so does everyone. she wants optimism and good news. so do i...so does everyone. the problem is, you have to be brave enough, strong enough to take a chance and look for something bigger than you. much like love, you have to dive head first. you have to know that you won't die...there might be pain, but it will pay off. you will grow from it. challenge is how we grow. if you are comfortable, you're not growing. if you're not growing, you're not alive.

if you truly believe that all life is about are these 70-some odd years here on earth, then that's heartbreaking. if you think that the best life gets is this world packed with negativity, greed, selfishness and every other thing that tears away at our happiness...then that is heartbreaking too. watch the news. the news is always negative. negativity sells. sex sells. sin sells...that's a tough lineup to crack. flex those muscles, it's going to be a long ride. life on earth is a tough journey...but in the landscape of eternity, it's a drop in the pond.

the point is is this. there is more. there is more than going to the bars on the weekends and getting tipsy because it's the funnest thing you can think of doing. there's a lot more than getting fat, having sex with everyone (ambitious), being lazy, doing drugs...etc. there is more. i just can't imagine how sad i would become if i honestly thought that a night drinking at the bars (regardless of its content past that) would be the highlight of my week...or what i look forward to.

to lighten the mood...are you that guy/girl with the cold brewski in one hand...the cigarette in the other (social smoking reigns supreme)...and the f-bombs flying out of your mouth? if so, congrats on that because in my opinion you can never get enough of a good old-fashioned cliche'. someone's gotta keep the stereotype alive...keep it real. keep it street.

back to biz. God is everything. God has everything you're missing that you're afraid to go get...or feel too weak to, or aren't brave enough to admit that you need. in my opinion, most people are weak. conversely, in my opinion also, most people are strong. that's complex. the thing is, beneath it all, when invested in something more grand than ourselves (like the Lord), we add to our character and find strength in faith...this makes us a force. on the other hand, unfortunately the majority of people would rather not read this, go to church or lift a Bible. it's easy to be lazy. it's hard to achieve true success. that is the weak side. this is what you see most at our age. drat.

give an hour of your week to JC. He's a good guy and will change your life. He has changed mine. i am ten times stronger a man than i was without the Lord. i was tentative about all the "God stuff" when i was introduced to it. luckily i met some amazing people along the way who i admired for their joy. i said, wow...these people are always so happy and behave so differently than the typical college nati-light, beer-bonging geeks. i wanted what they had. now i have it. now, i feel like superman 99% of the time. no one is perfect. we all have our moments...so 99 is pretty incredible. i generally find myself feeling unbreakable. i let no person steal my joy and barely anything rattles me. if i died today, that would be okay with me.

i am grateful and forgiving. i have tons of flaws, but if you're not thankful for what you have...you'll never be happy. if you can't forgive all negative things that pass, you'll never be happy. Christianity taught me these two gems. i'm still a work in progress, but i know i am blessed.

i am happier than every non-Christian i've ever met.

though i have my days, i am extremely lucky.

about the friend. voltaire said, "if God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent Him". i don't think she and i invented God together, but more like discovered His eager presence waiting to burn into her life. even if you don't believe...He is always there, waiting, hoping, praying you'll want Him half as bad as He wants you. that's beautiful i think. you can act like a selfish moron (myself included) nearly your entire life and He still wants you, no strings attached. i wish i had that strength...although i'm working on it. it's exciting to know that you can always become a better person. there is no ceiling in Christianity. only the weak would want to plateau just to rest. in faith and love and Christ, you just keep growing up. you have to have that. you just have to.

i have always loved the quote, "only the strong survive". i used to think of it physically. i lift weights and repeat it in my head like a nerd sometimes. i sort of want a tattoo of that on my ribs, but i'll get old and wrinkly and it'll read something like, “on thong river”. either way, i love it. the real reason why though, is because it's about forever to me. if you are strong in this life in the Lord, you will survive...in eternity. you'll have everything that is so good you never even knew it existed. something even tastier than a sweaty Big Mac or ten pounds of fried mozzarella sticks (ouch).  

so to top it all off. back to her. she asked me what she needed to give me for this. it made me smile and i said nothing because she is already giving me what i want, without even asking. i want her to be happy. i want her to feel God's warmth, and then i want to share it with her until we die and walk upstairs. friends, family or whatever. she is becoming essential to me a thousand miles a minute. that's exciting right? i think so. i feel the electricity.

i wanted more of her the moment i met her...and now i will get it. i look up to God in thanks for this blessing. He is looking down at me setting up one gnarley hi-five.

Faith is everything. Step to your Maker.