mind you, i'm only posting these tonight because it's easier to dig around on her facebook, copy & paste than actually think...AND, people seem to like my grandparents more than me or my sense of humor, so there's that.
i already told the tale of francis. he is a wise and embattled knight hailing from harsh Lima, Ohio. as is the the Chief (gramma).
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| i know a little girl who likes to party, and her name is nancy. |
you have to be patient with the Chief because she's a lot more aggressive than grandpa (think of a dainty little hawk with nail polish and a huge trout in its beak)...refuses to use lowercase letters and will talk to absolutely anybody. which i love about her. she's been like that her whole life and i definitely wouldn't change it.
for what it's worth, over Christmas, i tried explaining to her the whole CAPS is like SHOUTING EVERYTHING and she laughed and then i'm not sure she got it. she hasn't changed a thing, so who knows. probably my favorite thing about gramma is that she knows she sucks at technology and isn't afraid to admit it. you will see this in very many of her posts and status updates that i put here to share. she thinks it's cute i guess to be one of her 4 friends on "the facebook" and she will tell you that within the first 5 minutes of your conversation in you ever meet her. i promise you that. promise. at the same time, she makes funnies on everyone's pages about not knowing how to use the computer, so there's a bit of confusion there, but it's pretty great.
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| someone likes to get a little crunk with the grandsons. |
so, i give you the best of NANCY vol.1 (mind you a lot of these are wall posts to practical strangers...priceless)...oh, and please fall in love with the excessive exclamation marks and repetitive posts. if she thinks something is funny, she'll go and post that exact thing on 10 people's wall...even though mom said she refuses to learn copy and paste...haha. awesome. some of the posts i've found of hers, i have found literally 20 times.
it's pretty easy to see why i say i have the most amazing g-rents on the planet. and it's also easy to see why they're (frank&nance) perfect for each other. if you know a goofier pair of 78 year olds, you let me know. and i'll call you a liar to your face.
remember, the whole fam is like this. so you see how it spreads then...
THE BEST OF NANCY.
1) HEY!!! WAIT!!! WHO HERE IS ITALIAN!?!?!?!
2) HEY!!! HEY!!! WHOSE BIG IDEA WAS IT TO HIDE MY PORTABLE COMPUTER MACHINE ON TOP OF THE REFRIGERATOR!?!?!? TOOK ME 3 MONTHS TO FIND IT!!! HA!!!
3) HEY!!! HEY WAIT!!! WHERE DO THEY PUT THE SPACE BAR ON THESE SPACE MACHINES!?!??!?!
4) HEY WHOA!!! IS THIS ONLINE DATING!?!?!
5) HEY!!! YOU'RE FUNNY!!! COME HERE!!!
6) HEY!!! HEY!!! WAIT!!! I FORGOT WHAT I WAS GONNA ASK!!! HA!!!
7) HEY!!! ARE YOU THE ASIAN ONE!?!?!?
8) WHO SAYS KNITTING ISN'T A REAL SPORT!?!?!?
9) WAIT!!! VICKS VAPORUB TESTS THEIR PRODUCTS ON DOGS!?!?!? I'M SO LOST!!! HA!!!
10) HEY!!! HEY!!! ANYONE HERE EVER HEARD OF THE SUDOKU!?!?!? DO I HAVE TO BE JAPANESE TO LIKE IT??? HA!!!
11) HEY!!! HEY!!! YOU LOOK NICE!!! ANYONE HERE LIKE JUDO!?!?!? HA!!!
12) HEY YOU!!! HEY!!! LISTEN!!! IS THIS MYSPACE!?!??! WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS!?!?!?
13) HEY!!! WAIT!!! IS THIS MATCH.COM!?!?!? WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS!?!?!
14) HEY!!! WAIT!!! DO I KNOW YOU??? ARE YOU THE POLISH ONE!?!?!
15) HEY!!! WAIT!!! I'VE SEEN YOU BEFORE!!! HEY!!! WHO HERE LIKES GOOD LIP GLOSS??? I KNOW I DO!!! HA!!!
16) HEY WAIT!!! WHO ARE YOU!!?!?! YOU LOOK LIKE A BRONCO TO ME!!!
17) HEY!!! WAIT!!! DO I KNOW YOU!?!?! ARE YOU THE ONE WITH WITH THE SMALL HANDS!?!?!? HA!!!
18) HEY!!! WAIT!!! WHO HERE'S FRENCH!?!?! I LIKE TOAST TOO!!! HA!!!
19) WAIT!!! THERE'S A HORSE ON THE TEAM!??!?!?
20) HEY!!! I WISH YOU LOOKED MORE LIKE TOM SELLECK!!! HA!!!
21) AM I THE ONLY ONE HERE WHO CAN'T SAY NO TO A KEANU REEVES MARATHON?!?!? HOT FUSS!!! HA!!!
22) HEY!!! WHAT IS THIS RAP MUSIC EVERYONE'S TALKING ABOUT???
23) WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS THE FACEBOOK ACCOUNT ANYWAYS!?!? I CAN'T KEEP UP WITH ALL THE FRIEND REQUESTS AND FARMVILLE THINGS!!!
24) MICHAEL JACKSON??? IS THAT THE SAME THING AS SAMMY DAVIS JR???
25) LISTEN HERE BLONDIE!!! HE WAS BORN FROM A PACKAGE OF FIRECRACKERS JUST LIKE HIS MOM!!! EXCEPT THEY DIDN'T ACTUALLY EXPLODE!!! HA!!!
26) HEY!!! AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN'T STOP WATCHING WHITE GIRLS!?!? INSTANT CLASSIC!!! HA!!!
27) HEY!!! SHAWN!!! NO CHRISTMAS BINGO FOR YOU!!
28) HEY!!! YOU TALL ONE!!! GO FLY A KITE!!!!!!! HA!!!!!!!!!
29) HEY!!! HEY!!! IS THIS THE INTERNETS??? WHO PUT MY PROFILE ON HERE??? HA!!!
30) HEY!!! HEY!!! DO YOU LIKE SKATING??? YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'D BE GOOD AT IT!!! YOU SEEM GREAT!!!
31) HEY!!! WHO HERE LIKES IRISH PEOPLE!?!?!?!?
and there you have it. a small sample size of the Chief. mind you, she has posted a lot more than Francis and says a lot of the same stuff again & again & again (i found the "HEY IS THIS MYSPACE" post over 20 times)...but she's easy to love and quote. as you can see she also likes making friends and always asks where people are from. incredible in my book.
i love my gramma. anyone who's ever talked to me about her knows how much she means to me. anytime you can ask an 80 year old gal questions like, "Grandma, if grandpa was a vampire with no arms, would you still love him just as much?"...and get an actual response...you know you've found yourself a legend.
here's to you gramma antsy, you perfect 10 you. keep on truckin & lovin, servin mcgriddles & channel surfing like it's nobody business.
goodnight all, xx-sk
p.s. if you see nance walking down the street, you have to ask her 2 questions...because it's been our running thing for about a decade now.
1.) gramma, are you shrinking? (which she'll say "probably" to)
2.) gramma, are you losing weight? (which she'll laugh and say, "i wish" to)
(photo tribute)
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| mean muggin. would you mess with this 5' 1" woman? or this sweatshirt? i sure wouldn't! |
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| gramma flexin on walt. rockin the tneck hard for xmas. |
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| on the verge of raising the roof. don't hurt your back Chief! |
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| 'nuff said. |
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| she's still got it boys. watch out! |
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| gramma talks three things; mcgriddles, jive & bridge tournaments. |
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| this was the night when she had 4 and we had to chase her around the house to get her to bed by 9. |
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| ABSOLUTELY LOST. |
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| GRANDMA IS A CYBORG! LOOK AT HER! |
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| look how tiny she is in her fleece vest!!!!!!!!! i love it!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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