Wednesday, March 16, 2011


before i get the ball rolling here my agile little globetrotters, i should confess that i am not the smartest man alive.  i am also not an entrepreneuer of any sort.  even though i can spell that without having to check it or look it up...which i feel is worth at least 2 credibility points.  GIVE ME THE POINTS.

so i'm brainstorming on what to write and it occurred to me that i have at least 500 mind-blowing business concepts that are nothing more than alaskan gold mines ready to be tapped.  i kid you not.  get out your pocketbooks and prepare to take the world by financial storm.  put that rolls-royce on layaway...go ahead.  GO AHEAD.

Personalized plates.  :(

i should prelude all of this by saying that combo businesses tend to creep me out and i never trust them.  i trust a mcdonalds inside a wal-mart about as much as i trust the last bite of a sandwich.  i heavily distrust taco bell/pizza hut combos and am okay admitting that i can be fearful of any KFC/whatever pairing...which is generally some creepy gas station in central kentucky with one guy working named Clark who has a very shiny hair part, is 20lbs. under suggested weight for his age/ht and talks without separating his teeth.  either way...

so i don't believe in combo things in general.  i especially don't believe in the snack Combos because i think they're nastier than cat aids.  i don't believe in singers who like to act.  i don't dig chicken from a pizza place and i don't want to go to a jiffy lube for chiropractic work.

all of this being said, i am about to turn the tides.  i am putting this concept on its head because i think it has potential.  and i think you have potential too.  not too much though, just some.  well, a little more than some but not a good bit.  actually, a shade below a good bit but a baby hair above some.  probably right in between a tad and a fair amount.  definitely somewhere between none and all of it.  moving on.

i am going to turn this bus around (p.s. i would love to be the driver who screams at the top of his lungs and takes fast corners to get the kids to sit down).  after wasting my life away in my currently not amazing hazmat class, it stumbled upon me.

there are business combos that can work.  there really are.

so what i've done with this gently fabric-softened laundry list is this.  i have provided an excellent and catchy, as well as sensible & practical business name.  on top of that, i am giving these sprouting new companies a slogan so that they will take off just as soon as anyone chooses to tap into these honey money trees.  you like that eh?  you do don't you?  the rest is self-explanatory.

you will notice a theme or two as i was on a single track (in my head i was a big black steam engine, which i'm unfortunately not)...so there is some consistency here.

MY 21 GENIUS BUSINESS IDEAS (that you can have the licensing to for $200 american, six boxes of frosted flakes and a newborn of your choice...it doesn't have to be yours.)

business name, then pitch/description.

1)  HANGING BY A THREAD - "Fine suit tailoring & psychiatric help."

2)  JUMPING FOR JOY - "Big-time inflatables for big-time leaps & psychiatric assistance."

3.  A CUT ABOVE - "Today's most current razored hairstyles & psychiatric aid."

4.  LOSING "IT" - "Herbal libido vitamin enhancers for the delicately aging & psychiatric care."

5.  THE SHIP IS SINKING - "Lifesavers, Anchors, Psychiatric Advice & More."

6.  OFF YOUR ROCKER - "Quality Amish furniture featruing hand-crafted chairs, ceiling fans & psychiatric guidance."  

you can tell this guy had bad cell service.
7.  DON'T TALK ME DOWN - "Resilient cell phone service for those desolate places & top of the line psychiatric support."

8.  ON THE EDGE - "Durable rappelling gear and psychiatric guidance to keep you around a little longer."

9.  CRAZY ABOUT PSYCHIATRY - "We're passionate about fixing your mess."

10.  HOLD YOURSELF TOGETHER - "Bodycast suppliers & psychiatric help for those big "accidents"."

11.  INTERNAL MELTDOWN - "Elite welding services and psychiatric connections."

12.  BLOWING A GASKET - "Speedy engine repair & mental tune-ups."

13.  VOICES IN MY HEAD - "Multi-stage karaoke studios and psychiatric coaching since 1979."

14.  GONE NUTS - "The coasts' leader in pistachio delights & soft-shelled psychiatric nights."

15.  LOSING MY RELIGION - "Antique Christian book sellers & psychiatric friends."

bonus dept. - a few from another theme.

16.  SPLITTING UP - "Damaged hair repair, salon products and divorce services."

17.   DONE FOR GOOD - "Reliable meat thermometers & speedy divorce settlements."

18.  PARTING WAYS - "Leading comb sales and divorce assistance."

19.  WE'RE THROUGH - "The mountains' most-experienced tunnel builders and divorce lawyers."

20.  SHE'S TAKING HALF - "Pre-cut sandwiches for those who like to share & divorce settlements."

21.  IT'S OVER - "Specializing in shot clock sales and separation papers."

and that's all she...no, ...that's all i wrote folks.  :)  i hope at least one of these future fortune 500's got a good chuckle out of you.  i much like taking the heavyness out of serious things and turning them into a funny.

DOUBLE BONUS DEPT.  - later tonight i will be posting a scan of my NCAA tournament bracket (a one-of-a-kind i promise), as well as a few from some of my great friends, Chris, Brandon & Brian.  that way you can get edumucated on the tournament, and help yourself win some cash money dividends at the work spot.

enjoy, share the laughs...you never know who's having a rubbish day.

sorry nathan, east side til i die.
RIP sailor.


  1. I really enjoyed the laughs, Steven! Business and humor are poles apart, and sometimes, it’s kinda hard to put them together. But it really takes a good sense of creativity to bring them together. Salute to you!

    Clint @FranchiseMatch.com

  2. thanks so much Clint! trust me…this was the tip of the iceberg as i had over 400 more before i was done brainstorming. glad you enjoyed tho! maybe someday if i find the energy, i'll post the others. :)