Sunday, February 20, 2011


my excuse for not writing better
tonight.  i'm a loser.  :(
this is just in my opinion the worst ten things i could ever imagine hearing after asking the almighty, "will you marry me?". i've had a VERY busy couple of days and needed some quick stress/comic relief...so i'm whipping up this five-minute delight and sharing it with all of your sticky ethnic faces because maybe you're having the same issue. some are more practical than others of course, but hopefully this list will make you laugh inside your throat one way or the other.  

sorry if this is old reading for any of your heavenly, cherub-like grills, but hey...i'm trying to finish a painting people!!!!! (said screaming with ferocious & violent rage)...and it will be my last in a while.  i'll include a photo of it (25% done) so that i have a more legitimate excuse for posting something that some have read in the past.  besides...i updated it, and tweaked it some for twice the bubble gummy goodness.

if you're upset with me you can just come to 2700 trimmier and fist fight everyone in my complex.  i know of a girl with really hairy arms who could probably take half of you.  let us not wait any longer in line.
le list.

counting down...for dramatic effect of course...(to promote wetness in pants and palms)

10. "was that just a serious question?"

9. "okay...i guess."

8. "so this means then...that i only get to be with one guy for the rest of my life?"

7. "look, i really do like you, but this is still just our first date...umm...i should really get going, it's late (1:30 pm) and i have yoga in the morning."

6. "well it does suit me quite well financially..."

5. "i would love to say yes, but i ate my last two spouses...(deep sigh)...literally."

4. "your identical twin brother asked first...now i feel bad...thanks a lot"

3. "i'm sorry, i have actually fallen in love with one of the characters from my Dungeons & Dragons trading card set...i hope you understand."

2. "first i should tell you that i have seven live-in children...who follow the way of the hawk...are from west virginia...have terribly sun-damaged hair...think they are rabid vampires...all have different fathers...no child support."




1. "i have aids." 

feel free to play along, tag a favorite, add any winners you can think of or tell me how i accidentally offended you. 

much love to my boyz sippin that malt liquor in the hood and peace in the middle east!

a real man rents out a billboard and one-ups all of his friends.

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