Tuesday, February 8, 2011


in honor of the yellow team & their sewn-in collars.

this is the facebook conversation you've always wanted to have and didn't even know it.  between a dear dear friend of mine and myself...and i'm broken-hearted that it didn't carry on.  she's soft like sofas.  so that she doesn't get cyber-molested, i'm going to cover her name up and refer to her as Shortcake Dynamite.

if you add me as a friend, this is the cotton candy flavored nonsense you may encounter.  my apologies for ugly spacing and what not...this was a Copy & Pasters nightmare.

Shortcake Dynamite  it's monday... again... sigh...   12 hours ago · Like ·
Friend B You love it !   11 hours ago · Like           
Shortcake Dynamite no ma'am... i do not... i need a vacation again...  11 hours ago Like           
Steven Kenworthy YOU SO LOVE IT...TODAY IS THE DAY YOU RE-NLIST!!!  congratulations on your big decision!  9 hours ago · Like           
Shortcake Dynamite ‎@Steven - NEVER!!!!! I'll re enlist when you do...  9 hours ago · Like ·  1 person           
Steven Kenworthy let's do it tomorrow...surprise everyone! message me for details!  3 hours ago · Like           
Ambiguous No-Namer Cough Drop Sucker83 Re-enlisting is not an option. Forget 'am!  about an hour ago · Like           
Shortcake Dynamite Lol it's not gonna happen. Everyone knows that!  about an hour ago · Like           
Steven Kenworthy i can't wait to stand proud in front of that flag and sign another 4 years of my life away to being owned and slaved for pennies on the dollar. :D how can you NOT love that?? you're crazy Shortcake...simply nuts! hey! you're cashews!  about an hour ago · Like           
Shortcake Dynamite If I'm cashews you're mangoes Steven! Simply mangoes! I promised myself at reception that I'd never re enlist! It wouldn't be sporting to change my mind now!  about an hour ago · Like           
Steven Kenworthy how can i be mangos?? that's not even a qualified or certified nut? that goes against the reg's! if you re-enlist, i'll give you a measly few thousand dollars AND let you go wherever you want AND be treated just as poorly AND live the same below average lifestyle...how can you say no to that??  about an hour ago · Like           
Shortcake Dynamite Lol being mangoes is crazier than being bananas! And no thanks, I'll be rich in a year. Well richer than I've ever been. Then with my newfound financial security, I can do whatever I want! (Namely making tasty treats to make strangers sigh)  about an hour ago · Like           
Steven Kenworthy i'd rather be papayas anyday of the week...since when do i get no options?? :/  about an hour ago · Like           
Shortcake Dynamite Well if I'm cashews and not macadamia nuts or beer nuts, then you're mangoes!  about an hour ago · Like           
Steven Kenworthy are walnuts a reasonable substitute?? or do i need to be more exotic? ...if papaya is too much to ask, would cantelope be pushing the envelope?  about an hour ago · Like           
Shortcake Dynamite And can we get together and be a delicious fruit and nut snack? Trail mix perhaps?!  59 minutes ago · Like           
Steven Kenworthy if you want to be a trail mix with me, we're going to need to do some serious disco dancing in small plastic bags to see if there is savor-chemistry. i've been in talks with a girl who is more than happy to be peanuts (sounds lame and unoriginal i know), and she's willing to bend over backwards to co-habitate with me as dried apricots. this could get interesting...  57 minutes ago · Like           
Shortcake Dynamite Hmm... Maybe we could find a friend who is content to be granola and just be a breakfast cereal... Peanuts?! Pshaw!  55 minutes ago · Like            
Steven Kenworthy now you want me to be a breakfast cereal? talk about a curveball! say                    what you want about peanuts, but her versatility in the trail mix world is highly desired across the board. as much as i would love to interview for a potential granola, i'd be a bit worried about team dynamics. you let one complex carbohydrate in and it can bring the whole house down...so i've heard anyways.  50 minutes ago · Like

i absolutely HATE that it ended so soon...we were just getting warmed up!  think of this rad to the bone convo next time you're hitting the chex mix aisle at your local supermarket sweep.

somebody found the bonus gum in the dairy! a $200 value!

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