Monday, February 7, 2011


as all of you know, i am constantly launching myself into challenging life situations, whether it be physical, spiritual or emotional.  i am not a masochist.  i am not sunkist, or even never been kissed, but i am white and going on 32.  i am not an orange, and i am not drew barrymore.  that being said, at the center of me, when all of this turmoil is river dancing inside of my spirit and my feelings are being gently processed in a wood chipper, i have to look up.

i don't know your story...though i'd love to (i dare you to send it to me in a 100 page essay, times new roman font, AP style formatting), but i've been around the block enough to know that when the going gets tough, the tough get a severe rash?  hmm, that's not it, but what matters is that when life comes down hard on me, i need somewhere to turn to.  even if Christianity isn't your thing, and you don't particularly care to grow in faith, i encourage you to at least ask me about mine...why?...because my testimony is AMAZING and i give out free chocolate covered frozen bananas to each listener.  sugar free choco, no worries carb counters.

so yes, some of you have read my prayers A, B & C...but tonight i decided to add another (D, how original), to give this blogosaurus rex a fresh coat of paint.  even if 97% of you have already stuck a rusty needle in my face (rascals!) and clicked the little X, i hope the 3% of you who are still reading along share this.  most of what i write is generally pointless...BUT, in a day and age where it's not socially cool to be Christian, or focus on God's purpose in your life...i thought it would be meaningful and fun to write some stylized, somewhat poetic prayers to fist fight the blah blah blah routine convos that a lot of us get into w/JC the original rockstar.

alas, here are prayers A-D (working on an A-Z book, which I will most likely die before R, but that's okay, it's the thought that counts)...i don't ask much often, but please share them.  no one i know can use LESS prayer.

before we get started...this (see image below) is not the one you want...
do not follow written instructions!

ok, the prayers.


dear Father in Heaven,

today is not so much different than the last, not overwhelming but beautiful.
i feel lucky today.  i know that i am lucky.

i feel fortunate today.  i know that i am fortunate. 

today i can only hope and pray that i never take for granted those that i love most.
the people who have made my life what it is.  the people who have contributed to my heart and mind.  every person who has touched me in some way, family, friend or foe...i am blessed for them.

let me never take for granted this breath or that.  i am not designed for this place, but let me share all my love while i am here...and cherish the moments composed of it all.

i miss you, when i’m busy...but you’re never too far away and you’ll never be gone.  when this is all said and done, i want to rest next to you. 
when the sun goes down and my eyes close forever, i pray that everyone i have touched or prayed for will walk to you as have i. 

forever without you, is nothing at all.

and i can’t stand not to see them all there with me.

all my love,


heavenly father,

today feels difficult, more so than usual.  i can feel myself flexing my muscles, maybe more than i’m used to.

but i feel soft inside. 
i feel like i could be crushed in a second.
because of my heart, i’m considered sensitive.  that’s fine.

still though, today feels challenging.  in all of your love, could you do me this one favor and give me the armor you speak of?
would you make me unbreakable?
can you strip every upset i’ve tasted?  why am i asking?  everyone knows, you deliver in situations that bend our spine a bit like this. 

you always follow through.

i feel life, i feel living.  i feel loved.
i am unstoppable in faith.

love always,


dear Heavenly Father,

thank you for today. today was the best day i've ever had in that, it was challenging and simple, new and full of preparation for tomorrow.

God, please give me the strength to accept the fact that i alone am not enough. grant me the wisdom to understand that when You give me obstacles to clear, that they will be cleared best with You. please give me the wisdom to understand the crystal concept that if i alone were enough, then i would have no ongoing residual issues. if i alone were enough, then it would be impossible to have enduring struggle in my life. please Lord help me see that each road i take without You, will be more difficult to navigate...regardless of that and those around me. take me by the chest and please constantly remind me that i alone am not enough.

therefore Father, thank you again for my daily dose of hurdles. even if i do not love them on their surface, please know that i accept my need for them to grow...because without discomfort and adversity, i know that i cannot develop into the man/woman you want me to be. the same man/woman that everyone in my life needs me to be as well.

God, thank you for everything that i am and hope to become. with Your guidance, i know that my life will take the best direction possible...whether i see the end of the path at first or not. please give me the strength to be weak and constantly seek your leadership. i am ready to come forward and accept that i alone am not enough. take me by the chest...and let us walk then. i am ready.

i love you.


heavenly father,

i know that our relationship comes & goes like crushing waves, but sometimes i do feel crushed, and when i do, i reach up further to you.  in times of distress, i wish i had 1 million mile arms to reach up into the clouds and hold your hand in great peace.  if only...

but i am here Lord and not going anywhere.  i realize that my door swings at times with the wind, but it never shuts all the way, and i will always leave the window unlocked just in case.  i need you everyday.  even when i am walking in the other direction, i know that i need you to watch for traffic.  back and forth across borders i'm stepping and sometimes marching to the beat of my own drum.  dum dum dum dum...when you hear the music, come and say hello.  i may need a tune-up.  

i am far from perfect and always will be.  when the sea is high, or low, i will need you to save me from myself again and again.  and you will.  and when no one else will, you will.  

when the sky is grey and i can't see the sun, you will shine inside.  i am here inside.  knock gently, i will have missed you.  on good days and bad days, i always miss you.  even when i know you are right here, i can miss you.

right now, i miss you.

love always,

jon bon says: "we'll make it i swear".


  1. This is awesome deep praying. Something I feel in my heart also.
    You have expressed our feelings, (myself and others), what we are not as eloquently able to put into words.
    Thank You!

  2. Thank you. I needed this. I Love you Steve-o.

  3. MARY...thank you SO much for caring enough to say thanks...you know sometimes, others do the same for me...so it's definitely my time to return the favor. paul walt...i love you and your gorgeous little face...and your man-beard. and your neuro-fuel addiction.