Tuesday, February 22, 2011


as many of you already know...i am a hugondo (you like that?) fan of "i'd rather be" t-shirts, bumper stickers and the such.  if you own anything of this likeness...then you have earned one bronze star in my very prestigious - cooler than average people category (to be claimed in killeen, tx...sorry for the drive).  you will sit in the VIP section from now on.  i have no idea where.

so we've all seen the infamous, "i'd rather be fishing" (an absolute classic), "i'd rather be watching nascar " (highly popular in appalachia) & "i'd rather be contracting herpes"...(maybe i'm the only one who saw that one).  distasteful.  anyway...

#1, there are very few things in this world
i'd rather be doing than stripping wood!
so it turns out that as much as i adore these sugar-frosted gems...i am hard-up for some fresh material.  it is no secret by now that i ache for originality & shun the grossly predictable...or at least i try to.  that being said, it is then a most definite must (gold embossed certificate of authenticity framed to my right) that i spearhead this effort in original, "i'd rather be" bumper stickers/tshirts/aprons/zipper masks...whoa.

before i unveil this verbal bride...i should prelude (not the sexy honda) by saying that i don't think they should all be generic hobbies...like the aforementioned "fishing" or singing, fishing, you get the drift snowballface.  randomness is the beauty here.  in my most humble opinion.  household chores and day-to-day ventures may be my fave new topics.  we'll see what i come up with.  :)

feel free to make your own.  share with friends.  make them laugh or vomit on you because you kind of like it (weird).  print some of these off on product, make $5 million U.S., share the profit with me and then we can own a small island southwest of indonesia, make sand castles that look like our houses when we were growing up (think ages 6-12, no earlier) and eat bananas & fresh coconuts (you'll be doing most of the picking because it was my idea originally).  if this sounds appealing to you...let's make some moves exlax!  also...i tan very nice.

ooh lala.

the effort begins here.

1.  "i'd rather be stripping the wood on my newly acquired armoire"

2.  "i'd rather be preparing a casserole at 375 degrees"

3.  "i'd rather be asking the dentist if i need a soft or medium tootbrush"

4.  "i'd rather be sailing the pacific with no vitamin c and only cold cut sandwiches"

5.  "i'd rather be jumping over a fence that i can't quite reach and will probably need a little help with"

6.  "i'd rather be selling very low quality, overpriced electronics"

#28, that's TOO MUCH YA' CRAZY!!!!!!
7.  "i'd rather be taking my daily vitamins at the wrong time of day"

8.  "i'd rather be pouring my third glass of water today"

9.  "i'd rather be driving the kids to school right before i head into work"

10.  "i'd rather be changing all of my light bulbs at once"

11.  "i'd rather be carefully ironing my white oxford shirt"

12.  "i'd rather be adjusting the advanced color settings on my television"

13.  "i'd rather be talking about the weatherman's ties and gentle smile"

14.  "i'd rather be putting up drywall with my uncle from out of town"

15.  "i'd rather be drinking 2% because i sort of need the extra calories"

16.  "i'd rather be wiping down the counter tops"

17.  "i'd rather be putting new batteries in my electric shaver"

18.  "i'd rather be writing a short note to say where i'm going after dinner"

#10, does it honestly get any better than this?!?!?
19.  "i'd rather be putting unscented gel in my hair"

20.  "i'd rather be picking out a new size large collar for rover"

21.  "i'd rather be pronouncing syrup "see-rup", not "sir-up"

22.  "i'd rather be at a quilting workshop for beginners"

23.  "i'd rather be sorting the recyclables because it's tuesday again"

24.  "i'd rather be deciding whether to get the 7-grain or whole wheat bread this time"

25.  "i'd rather be writing my address in the corner of the business envelope"

26.  "i'd rather be trying to figure out what the cashier with poor english is saying"

#12, some people know a good time when they see it!
27.  "i'd rather be thinking of more i'd rather be's since i'd rather be fishing is so '84"

28.  "i'd rather be putting a little salt (not too much) on my well done tenderloin"

29.  "i'd rather be typing things in the search bar and waiting .0017 for results"

30.  "i'd rather be looking for my birth certificate in the manila file folder"

31.  "i'd rather be straightening the cushions on the sofa for the 8th time today"

to follow in the future: a similar version, but a very sarcastic and brutal one.  i.e.  "i'd rather saw my arms off and feed them to a wood chipper".  i'll probably have 6,000x more fun (pretty accurate figure after some testing) writing that one, but for tonight, i'll give you extra candy flavored advil and keep it pain free.

spread the love so i can keep my imagination churning...



  1. #32 "I'd rather be reading http://stevenkenworthy.blogspot.com/2011/02/31-legendary-id-rather-be-ideas.html"

  2. paul crumrine...i love you & want your babies. ALL OF THEM.

  3. Why has nobody mentioned that they'd rather be square dancing with Nancy Mangette?

  4. sam...because that is WAY TOO obvious/easy an option. that's like saying i'd rather win a million dollars than 25 cents. c'mon now.